The self-fulfilling nature of positive illusions in romantic relationships: love is not blind, but prescient.

@article{Murray1996TheSN,
  title={The self-fulfilling nature of positive illusions in romantic relationships: love is not blind, but prescient.},
  author={Sandra L Murray and John G. Holmes and Dale W. Griffin},
  journal={Journal of personality and social psychology},
  year={1996},
  volume={71 6},
  pages={
          1155-80
        }
}
It is proposed that satisfying, stable relationships reflect intimates' ability to see imperfect partners in idealized ways. In this study of the long-term benefits (or possible costs) of positive illusions, both members of dating couples completed measures of idealization and well-being 3 times in a year. Path analyses revealed that idealization had a variety of self-fulfilling effects. Relationships were most likely to persist-even in the face of conflicts and doubts-when intimates idealized… 
A Leap of Faith? Positive Illusions in Romantic Relationships
It is proposed that satisfying, stable relationships reflect intimates' ability to see imperfect relationships in somewhat idealized ways-to make a leap of faith. Both members of dating and married
Implicit Theories of Relationships: Who Cares if Romantic Partners Are Less than Ideal?
Perceived discrepancy between one’s ideal and actual partner has been shown to predict relationship satisfaction. The goal of two studies was to examine whether implicit theories of relationships
The self-fulfilling prophecy in close relationships: rejection sensitivity and rejection by romantic partners.
The authors hypothesized a self-fulfilling prophecy wherein rejection expectancies lead people to behave in ways that elicit rejection from their dating partners. The hypothesis was tested in 2
The Mismeasure of Love: How Self-Doubt Contaminates Relationship Beliefs
The authors argue that individuals with more negative models of self are involved in less satisfying relationships because they have difficulty believing that they are loved by good partners. Dating
Positive illusion in close relationships
The literature regarding self-other comparisons suggests that self-enhancing perceptions are prevalent, including forms of “illusion” such as excessively positive self-evaluation, unrealistic
Culture and Positive Illusions in Close Relationships: How My Relationships Are Better than Yours
Although routinely observed among North Americans, self-enhancing biases have been elusive in studies conducted with Japanese. The authors conducted two studies of relationship-serving biases (RSBs)
A test of positive illusions versus shared reality models of relationship satisfaction among gay, lesbian, and heterosexual couples
According to the positive illusions model (Murray, Holmes, & Griffin, 1996a), people in romantic relationships are more satisfied when they view their partners more favorably than the partners see
Through the looking glass darkly? When self-doubts turn into relationship insecurities.
The authors argue that individuals regulate perceptions of their relationships in a self-protective way, finding virtue in their partners only when they feel confident that their partners also see
Evaluating the physical attractiveness of oneself and one's romantic partner.
The present study sought to extend recent work by examining individual and relationship variables that predict the love-is-blind bias, that is, a tendency to perceive one's romantic partner as more
The Contingencies of Interpersonal Acceptance: When Romantic Relationships Function as a Self-Affirmational Resource
Existing research suggests that people with high, but not low, self-esteem use their dating partners' love and acceptance as a resource for self-affirmation when faced with personal shortcomings. The
...
...

References

SHOWING 1-10 OF 116 REFERENCES
The benefits of positive illusions: Idealization and the construction of satisfaction in close relationships.
It is proposed that satisfaction is associated with idealistic, rather than realistic, perceptions of one's partner. To provide baselines for assessing relationship illusions, both members of married
Reik's Complementarity Theory of Romantic Love
Abstract In Reik's (1957) complementarity theory of romantic love, one falls in love when one is dissatisfied with oneself and meets someone of the opposite sex who has those characteristics that he
Influence of Attachment Styles on Romantic Relationships
This investigation examined the impact of secure, anxious, and avoidant attachment styles on romantic relationships in a longitudinal study involving 144 dating couples. For both men and women, the
Romantic love conceptualized as an attachment process.
This article explores the possibility that romantic love is an attachment process--a biosocial process by which affectional bonds are formed between adult lovers, just as affectional bonds are formed
When the Head Protects the Heart: Empathic Accuracy in Dating Relationships
This study investigated circumstances in which romantic partners may be motivated to inaccurately infer each other's thoughts and feelings. Dating couples rated and discussed pictures of opposite-sex
Embracing the Bitter “Truth”: Negative Self-Concepts and Marital Commitment
We propose that because self-concepts allow people to predict (and thus control) the responses of others, people want to find support for their self-concepts. They accordingly gravitate toward
Seeing virtues in faults: Negativity and the transformation of interpersonal narratives in close relationships.
It is proposed that individuals develop story-like representations of their romantic partners that quell feelings of doubt engendered by their partners' faults. In Study 1, dating individuals were
The Dissolution of Romantic Relationships: Factors Involved in Relationship Stability and Emotional Distress
This investigation was designed to examine factors involved in the stability of premarital romantic relationships and the extent of emotional distress experienced following their dissolution. During
The need to belong: desire for interpersonal attachments as a fundamental human motivation.
TLDR
Existing evidence supports the hypothesis that the need to belong is a powerful, fundamental, and extremely pervasive motivation, and people form social attachments readily under most conditions and resist the dissolution of existing bonds.
Illusion and well-being: a social psychological perspective on mental health.
TLDR
Research suggesting that certain illusions may be adaptive for mental health and well-being is reviewed, examining evidence that a set of interrelated positive illusions—namely, unrealistically positive self-evaluations, exaggerated perceptions of control or mastery, and unrealistic optimism—can serve a wide variety of cognitive, affective, and social functions.
...
...