The Liking Gap in Conversations: Do People Like Us More Than We Think?

@article{Boothby2018TheLG,
  title={The Liking Gap in Conversations: Do People Like Us More Than We Think?},
  author={Erica J. Boothby and Gus Cooney and Gillian M. Sandstrom and Margaret S Clark},
  journal={Psychological Science},
  year={2018},
  volume={29},
  pages={1742 - 1756}
}
Having conversations with new people is an important and rewarding part of social life. Yet conversations can also be intimidating and anxiety provoking, and this makes people wonder and worry about what their conversation partners really think of them. Are people accurate in their estimates? We found that following interactions, people systematically underestimated how much their conversation partners liked them and enjoyed their company, an illusion we call the liking gap. We observed the… 
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The thought gap after conversation: Underestimating the frequency of others' thoughts about us.
TLDR
These studies demonstrate that people remain on their conversation partners' minds more than they know following interactions, and the thought gap was moderated by trait rumination, or the extent to which people's thoughts come easily and repetitively to mind.
The Development of the Liking Gap: Children Older Than 5 Years Think That Partners Evaluate Them Less Positively Than They Evaluate Their Partners
TLDR
These findings provide the first developmental description of the liking gap and support the hypothesis that this phenomenon is related to individuals’ concerns for how others evaluate them.
The liking gap in groups and teams
Abstract Every relationship begins with a conversation. Past research suggests that after initial conversations, there exists a liking gap: people underestimate how much their partners like them. We…
Hello, stranger? Pleasant conversations are preceded by concerns about starting one.
TLDR
In a field experiment with London-area train commuters, those assigned to talk with a stranger reported having a significantly more positive experience, and learning significantly more, than Those assigned to a solitude or control condition.
Why do people avoid talking to strangers? A mini meta-analysis of predicted fears and actual experiences talking to a stranger
ABSTRACT People are often reluctant to talk to strangers, despite the fact that they are happier when they do so. We investigate this apparent paradox, meta-analyzing pre-conversation predictions and…
Difficult conversations: navigating the tension between honesty and benevolence.
TLDR
Recent research on egocentrism, ethics, and communication is reviewed to explain why communicators overestimate the degree to which honesty and benevolence conflict during difficult conversations, document the conversational missteps people make as a result of this erred perception, and propose more effective conversational strategies that honor the long-term compatibility of honesty and beneficence.
The role of expectations for liking and other positive Affiliative outcomes in the get-acquainted process that occurs over Computer-mediated video communication
TLDR
Findings included that pre-interaction expectations were associated with reactions after the interaction, a visual greeting with another before learning information about the other did not moderate the effect of that information on liking and other affiliative outcomes, and participants underestimated how much they were liked after the interactions.
The friend number paradox.
TLDR
A friend number paradox is identified, that is, a mismatch between people's preferences for the friends they might acquire in social interactions and their predictions of others' preferences that can be a signal of social liabilities that diminish their ability to reciprocate obligations to others.
Why a Simple Act of Kindness Is Not as Simple as It Seems: Underestimating the Positive Impact of Our Compliments on Others
TLDR
It is suggested that people misestimate their compliments’ value to others, and so they refrain from engaging in this prosocial behavior.
Negative Deviation Effect in Interpersonal Communication: Why People Underestimate the Positivity of Impression They Left on Others
TLDR
Evidence is provided that a negative deviation effect existed not just because people are too focused on their own-negative thoughts in conversational performance but rather because people had a psychological defense towards others in their first communication.
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